Doge Issues Stark Warning To US Federal Workers: Document Work Or Face Resignation

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Post on Feb 24, 2025

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Doge Issues Stark Warning to US Federal Workers: Document Work or Face Resignation

Washington, D.C. – The seemingly whimsical world of internet memes collided head-on with the staid reality of federal bureaucracy this week as a cryptic, yet alarming, message attributed to a mysterious figure known only as “Doge” sent shockwaves through government agencies. The message, disseminated via an internal memo initially leaked to several anonymous whistleblowers and subsequently verified by independent sources within the federal government, warns all federal employees to meticulously document every aspect of their work or face potential resignation.

The memo, which lacks the usual official letterhead and instead features a Shiba Inu image – the iconic Doge meme – alongside terse, capitalized sentences, leaves little room for interpretation. It explicitly states that a comprehensive review of employee work logs and documentation is underway, and that any deficiencies will be met with swift and decisive action, including termination.

While the origins and authority behind the memo remain shrouded in mystery, sources inside the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) confirm the memo's authenticity, albeit unofficially. Several agencies have reportedly confirmed receiving similar warnings, prompting widespread anxiety among federal employees.

"It's absolute chaos," confided one mid-level bureaucrat at the Department of Agriculture, speaking on condition of anonymity due to fear of reprisal. "No one knows who 'Doge' is, but everyone is suddenly hyper-focused on documenting every email, phone call, and meeting. It's like a productivity frenzy fueled by existential dread."

The memo's stark language has fueled speculation regarding its true intent. Some believe it reflects a genuine effort to increase transparency and accountability within the federal government, potentially stemming from a recent initiative to combat inefficiency and waste. Others, however, suggest a more sinister motive – a potential purge of dissenters or a power play by a shadowy figure seeking to consolidate control.

The lack of transparency surrounding "Doge's" identity adds to the intrigue. The memo provides no official contact information, and attempts to trace its origins have yielded no clear results. Cybersecurity experts are investigating the possibility of a sophisticated phishing campaign or a highly targeted disinformation operation, although no evidence has emerged to support either theory.

The impact on federal productivity is already noticeable, according to numerous reports. Employees are spending extra time documenting their daily activities, leading to a slowdown in critical operations across multiple agencies. The unexpected pressure has also resulted in increased stress and burnout amongst federal workers.

The White House has yet to issue an official statement regarding the memo, fueling further speculation. The silence only exacerbates the confusion and anxiety, leading many to wonder whether "Doge" operates with the tacit approval of higher-ups, or whether this is an unauthorized action with potentially significant repercussions.

As the investigation into the memo's origins continues, one thing remains clear: the impact of this seemingly whimsical message is anything but lighthearted. The future of federal employment, at least for the time being, seems inextricably linked to the cryptic pronouncements of a Shiba Inu. The situation remains fluid, and Newsweek will continue to provide updates as they develop.